There I was, a year separated, forty something years of age, with zero experience of dating, after 20 plus years with the same woman. I felt fearful about going out into that brave new world - but at the same time, I wanted it. There seemed to be two parts of me battling inside - the fearful part, which wanted me to stay in my comfort zone – and the excited part of me, wanting to get up close and personal to a woman.
As I focused on these two parts of me, I realised that I could energise whichever part I gave my attention to. So I decided to focus on the excitement, and, rather than thinking too much about it ( another of fears little tricks!) I took ACTION.
A small step, but a step nonetheless. I looked up “Salsa classes” and enrolled online. No going back for me, because, once I pay my money, I want value for it!
Two weeks later I turned up on my own. Almost instantly, and without even a “Hello!”, I was chucked into a woman’s arms and shown the basics. Forward. Back. Side to Side. Eye Contact. Move those tight Irish hips! Relax!!
So, if you’re experiencing fear when thinking about something, relax. It’s quite normal. If there’s fear, then there has to be excitement lurking around somewhere. Find it. Energise it. Think about how you’ll feel when you’ve faced the fear down. Pay lots of attention to the FEELINGS, of excitement, of accomplishment, of feeling better about yourself simply by trying something new. Don’t over think it. Just take a small step, just like one of those I learned in Salsa on that first day. It’s called (aptly enough) -“Forward Basic.”
That was enough for me on the first day. I was moving FORWARD, and yes, it was very BASIC! The rest, as they say, is history ……